Poffy The Cucumber's Movie Mania

RECENT REVIEWS:
Almost daily, Poffy adds movies - old and new - to his vault of filmic fortitude.
Visit regularly for healthy teeth and toes.

Click to see a list of upcoming reviews, old and new releases...

	INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL




		Copyright Notice

TWISTER

Release: May 96 - Review: 24 Jul 08

Twister Blows.
... trying to throw an aluminum thingy filled with little aluminum thingies into a tornado. They say it’s to research these natural disasters. Cue joke about this movie being natural disaster.
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WALL-E

Release: Jul 08 - Review: 22 Jul 08

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto!
...the horror of this totalitarian society might have slapped us in the BRAZIL bone was it not for the Pixar team injecting robot buffoonery at every pixel.
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CRIMINAL

Release: Oct 04 - Review: 21 Jul 08

Guilty Until Proven Guilty.
Twists in con movies tend to come at you with a groan, whereas the twisty storyline in CRIMINAL comes at you via a night-stick to the back of the knees.
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THE DRIVER

Release: Jul 78 - Review: 16 Jul 08

Emotionless Motion.
Taking McQueen’s BULLITT (1968) car-chase scene to its extremities, here is a movie ALL ABOUT the car chases.
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HANCOCK

Release: Jul 08 - Review: 12 Jul 08

Upping the Ante on Anti-Heroes.
...a “superhero movie” only on its surface. Deeper, where emotions are torn from desires and sorrow abides like ravenous bile, HANCOCK is a misunderstood gem.
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INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

Release: Jul 08 - Review: 9 Jul 08

Crystal Numbskull and the Kingdom of the Buttoned Shirt.
Written by mutton-fist Lucas, directed by No-Risk Spielberg, and starring Ford with his shirt buttoned, INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL starts off promising, then gets stupider by the stunt.
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THE INCREDIBLE HULK

Release: Jun 08 - Review: 4 Jul 08

Hulk movie - Smash!
...an adrenalized shot to the sternum – if it doesn’t knock you black and blue, it will at least slap you and call you Susan.
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THE HAPPENING

Release: Jun 08 - Review: 25 Jun 08

Nothing Happening.
Grandiose concept + morbidly inept cast = mediocre movie.
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WILD HOGS

Release: Mar 07 - Review: 1 Jun 08

On The Road To Nowhere.
...Sunday riders who decide to hit the open road on their weekend machines to alleviate the boredom of their suburban existences. Unfortunately, it does nothing to alleviate OUR boredom.
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BURY MY HEART AT WOUNDED KNEE

Release: May 07 - Review: 23 May 08

Bury the Truth at Wounded Knee.
Though it is supposedly a tribute to the indomitable spirit of the Native Americans, it is yet another White-Perspective slur-fest that dishonors that wild race with every bigoted frame.
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TOMBSTONE

Release: Dec 93 - Review: 22 May 08

When the West Was Huckleberry.
The Pulp Fiction of westerns, with its vivid dialog and firestorm set pieces.
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MR AND MRS SMITH

Release: Jun 05 - Review: 18 May 08

Emasculation Proclamation.
Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to popcorn and die – that’s how stupid this movie treats us.
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Halloo! For my movie archives, check the

section.
For full list of movies in order of review, visit the chronological list below.
(NOTE: This is a scary anal proposition and only for Poffy aficionados!)

COMING SOON to Poffy's Movie Mania...
A list to remind me to finish those sketchy reviews gathering angel dust in my drawers...

Reviews in Progress: You can click on the pics to see the unfinished/rough writings that are surfing their way to their spot on this website even as you ogle them...don't expect them to be readable, or even to make any sense - they're just scribblings. Some are so unfinished they're not even posted here... d'oh! But you can see their pretty posters... ah, promises, promises.... hope was the greatest evil in Pandora's Jar....

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Poffy The Cucumber is copyrighted to Jon Dunmore © 2005, and the character and his name may not be used without permission.
"Poffy The Cucumber's Movie Mania" is the official website of Poffy The Cucumber © and a division of Egomania Records ®.
All movie reviews are the original work of Jon Dunmore and may not be duplicated
without permission. Plagiarism is an offense punishable by being slapped senseless with a cabbage.

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Chronological listing of reviews...
(most recent reviews are at the top of this page)


IRON MAN Release: May 08 - Review: 17 May 08
	ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN Release: Dec 80 - Review: 14 May 08 DRACULA Release: Feb 1931 - Review: 8 May 08 RED PLANET Release: Nov 00 - Review: 5 May 08
THE FOUNTAIN Release: Nov 06 - Review: 1 May 08
	KING KONG 1976 Release: Dec 76 - Review: 1 May 08 STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME Release: Nov 96 - Review: 30 Apr 08
BREACH Release: Feb 07 - Review: 29 Apr 08
	ALIENS Release: Jul 86 - Review: 28 Apr 08
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN Release: Nov 07 - Review: 27 Apr 08
	CON AIR Release: Jun 97 - Review: 26 Apr 08 AMERICAN PSYCHO Release: Jan 00 - Review: 25 Apr 08 DEEP IMPACT Release: May 98 - Review: 21 Apr 08 HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER Release: Apr 73 - Review: 21 Apr 08
SWEENEY TODD: Release: Dec 07 - Review: 8 Jan 08 AMERICAN GANGSTER Release: Nov 07 - Review: 6 Jan 08 BEOWULF Release: Nov 07 - Review: 6 Jan 08 RENDITION Release: Oct 07 - Review: 5 Jan 08 DEATH SENTENCE Release: Sep 07 - Review: 29 Dec 07
AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM Release: Jun 06 - Review: 31 Aug 07 THE U.S. VS JOHN LENNON Release: Sep 06 - Review: 28 Aug 07
	RICHARD PRYOR LIVE IN CONCERT Release: Jan 79 - Review: 4 Aug 07 MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL Release: Mar 75 - Review: 4 Aug 07 JARHEAD Release: Nov 05 - Review: 30 Jul 07 THE AVIATOR Release: Dec 04 - Review: 28 Jul 07
1408 Release: Jul 07 - Review: 27 Jul 07 LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD Release: Jul 07 - Review: 23 Jul 07
	BILLY MADISON Release: Feb 95 - Review: 21 Jul 07
SICKO Release: Jul 07 - Review: 18 Jul 07 FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER Release: Jul 07 - Review: 9 Jul 07
FANTASTIC FOUR Release: Jul 05 - Review: 5 Jul 07
	GALLIPOLI Release: Aug 81 - Review: 4 Jul 07
ACCEPTED Release: Aug 06 - Review: 2 Jul 07
OCEAN'S THIRTEEN Release: Jun 07 - Review: 29 Jun 07 SURF'S UP Release: Jun 07 - Review: 28 Jun 07
	LOVE AND SEX Release: Jul 00 - Review: 21 Jun 07 THE INCREDIBLES Release: Nov 04 - Review: 20 Jun 07 STAR WARS V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK Release: May 80 - Review: 18 Jun 07
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END Release: May 07 - Review: 16 Jun 07
THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND Release: Sep 06 - Review: 28 May 07
THE HOAX Release: Apr 07 - Review: 24 May 07 SPIDER-MAN 3 Release: May 07 - Review: 20 May 07
	THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS Release: Apr 96 - Review: 18 May 07
BABEL Release: Oct 06 - Review: 18 May 07
	STAR WARS IV: A NEW HOPE Release: May 77 - Review: 16 May 07 BATMAN Release: Jun 89 - Review: 12 May 07
HOT FUZZ Release: Apr 07 - Review: 10 May 07
CASINO ROYALE Release: Nov 06 - Review: 8 May 07 TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY Release: Nov 06 - Review: 2 May 07
WAR OF THE WORLDS Release: Jun 05 - Review: 18 Apr 07 RED EYE Release: Aug 05 - Review: 17 Apr 07
GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS Release: Aug 06 - Review: 17 Apr 07
MADAGASCAR Release: May 05 - Review: 16 Apr 07
	JURASSIC PARK Release: Jun 93 - Review: 10 Apr 07
INVINCIBLE Release: Aug 06 - Review: 5 Apr 07
CAPOTE Release: Sep 05 - Review: 2 Apr 07
SHOOTER Release: Mar 07 - Review: 2 Apr 7 BLACK SNAKE MOAN Release: Mar 07 - Review: 31 Mar 07 300 Release: Mar 07 - Review: 24 Mar 07
MONSTER HOUSE Release: Jun 06 - Review: 20 Feb 07 CHILDREN OF MEN Release: Dec 06 - Review: 16 Feb 07
SMOKIN' ACES Release: Jan 07 - Review: 11 Feb 07
	NATIONAL TREASURE Release: Nov 04 - Review: 10 Feb 07 SPIDERMAN 2 Release: Jun 04 - Review: 6 Feb 07
HITCH Release: Feb 05 - Review: 4 Feb 07
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA Release: Dec 06 - Review: 2 Feb 07 BLOOD DIAMOND Release: Dec 06 - Review: 24 Jan 07
	EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE Release: Dec 78 - Review: 20 Jan 07
THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY Release: Apr 05 - Review: 15 Jan 07
	PHENOMENON Release: Jul 96 - Review: 5 Jan 07
THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS Release: Dec 06 - Review: 4 Jan 07 APOCALYPTO Release: Dec 06 - Review: 3 Jan 07
	THE TRUMAN SHOW Release: Jun 98 - Review: 31 Dec 06
ROCKY BALBOA Release: Dec 06 - Review: 29 Dec 06
	GIGLI Release: Aug 03 - Review: 13 Dec 06
BORAT! Release: Nov 06 - Review: 11 Dec 06
	SUPERMAN II Release: Jul 81 - Review: 9 Dec 06 MAFIA Release: Jul 98 - Review: 7 Dec 06
THE PRESTIGE Release: Oct 06 - Review: 6 Dec 06
	MEMENTO Release: Mar 01 - Review: 28 Nov 06
LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN Release: Apr 06 - Review: 25 Nov 06
	SANDS OF IWO JIMA Release: Dec 49 - Review: 24 Nov 06 THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT Release: Nov 95 - Review: 18 Nov 06
FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS Release: Nov 06 - Review: 16 Nov 06 THE DEPARTED Release: Oct 06 - Review: 5 Nov 06
	LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS Release: Mar 99 - Review: 4 Nov 06
HOLLYWOODLAND Release: Sep 06 - Review: 25 Oct 06 ALL THE KING'S MEN Release: Sep 06 - Review: 2 Oct 06
	END OF DAYS Release: Nov 99 - Review: 22 Sep 06 VELVET GOLDMINE Release: Oct 98 - Review: 18 Sep 06
CRANK Release: Sep 06 - Review: 13 Sep 06 THE ILLUSIONIST Release: Aug 06 - Review: 7 Sep 06
	SNATCH Release: Jan 01- Review: 5 Sep 06
MATCH POINT Release: Jan 06 - Review: 2 Sep 06
	PLAY MISTY FOR ME Release: Nov 71 - Review: 25 Aug 06
WORLD TRADE CENTER Release: Aug 06 - Review: 25 Aug 06 LADY IN THE WATER Release: Aug 06 - Review: 18 Aug 06
	CROCODILE DUNDEE II Release: May 88 - Review: 13 Aug 06 BIG DADDY Release: Jun 99 - Review: 5 Aug 06 TOMMY Release: Mar 75 - Review: 29 Jul 0
THE WORLD'S FASTEST INDIAN Release: Sep 05 - Review: 27 Jul 06
	A PERFECT WORLD Release: Nov 93 - Review: 24 Jul 06 PEOPLE I KNOW Release: Apr 03 - Review: 22 Jul 06
NACHO LIBRE Release: Jun 06 - Review: 22 Jul 06 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST Release: Jun 06 - Review: 17 Jul 06
	THE FIFTH ELEMENT Release: May 97 - Review: 11 Jul 06 SUPERMAN Release: Dec 78 - Review: 11 Jul 06
FLIGHT 93 Release: Jan 06 - Review: 5 Jul 06 SUPERMAN RETURNS Release: Jun 06 - Review: 4 Jul 06 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND Release: May 06 - Review: 25 Jun 06
	KING OF KINGS Release: Oct 61 - Review: 24 Jun 06
KICKING AND SCREAMING Release: May 05 - Review: 17 Jun 06
	BEING JOHN MALKOVICH Release: Sep 99 - Review: 17 Jun 06 ELF Release: Nov 03 - Review: 14 Jun 06 ROMEO AND JULIET Release: Nov 96 - Review: 13 Jun 06
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH Release: May 06 - Review: 12 Jun 06 THE DA VINCI CODE Release: May 06 - Review: 6 Jun 06
	ALONG CAME POLLY Release: Jan 04 - Review: 6 Jun 06 ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND Release: Mar 04 - Review: 3 Jun 06 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY Release: Apr 68 - Review: 31 May 06 GALAXY QUEST Release: Dec 99 - Review: 30 May 06 MISSION TO MARS Release: Mar 00 - Review: 29 May 06 SURVIVING CHRISTMAS Release: Oct 04 - Review: 28 May 06
OVER THE HEDGE Release: May 06 - Review: 27 May 06 THANK YOU FOR SMOKING Release: Mar 06 - Review: 26 May 06
	ROCK STAR Release: Sep 01 - Review: 22 May 06
THE INTERPRETER Release: Apr 05 - Review: 20 May 06
	CROCODILE DUNDEE Release: Sep 86 - Review: 20 May 06
MONSTER-IN-LAW Release: May 05 - Review: 18 May 06
	THE GODFATHER Release: Mar 72 - Review: 13 May 06
UNITED 93 Release: Apr 06 - Review: 7 May 06
	TITANIC Release: Dec 97 - Review: 3 May 06 TOY STORY Release: Nov 95 - Review: 1 May 06 Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN Release: Oct 01 - Review: 29 Apr 06
THE SENTINEL Release: Apr 06 - Review: 26 Apr 06
	UNFORGIVEN Release: Aug 92 - Review: 22 Apr 06 BARB WIRE Release: May 96 - Review: 21 Apr 06
CONSTANTINE Release: Feb 05 - Review: 21 Apr 06
	THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT Release: Jan 04 - Review: 13 Apr 06
V FOR VENDETTA Release: Mar 06 - Review: 12 Apr 06
	2010: ODYSSEY TWO Release: Dec 84 - Review: 9 Apr 06 MEET THE FOCKERS Release: Dec 04 - Review: 9 Apr 06
INSIDE MAN Release: Mar 06 - Review:7 Apr 06
	KINSEY Release: Nov 04 - Review: 4 Apr 06
EMILY'S REASONS WHY NOT Release: Jan 06 - Review: 2 Apr 06
	THE LAST SAMURAI Release: Dec 03 - Review: 2 Apr 06 MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET Release: Nov 94 - Review: 30 Mar 06 THE SOPRANOS: SEASON 3 Release: Feb 2001 KELLY'S HEROES Release: Jun 70 - Review: 1 Mar 06 TREKKIES 2 Release: Apr 04 - Review: 26 Feb 06 ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY Release: Jul 04 - Review: 22 Feb 06 DAVE Release: May 1993 - Review: 18 Feb 06 JACKASS: THE MOVIE Release: Oct 02 - Review: 23 Jan 06
FUN WITH DICK AND JANE Release: Dec 05 - Review: 22 Jan 06 QUEEN + PAUL RODGERS: RETURN OF THE CHAMPIONS Release: Sep 05 - Review: 21 Jan 06 BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN Release: Dec 05 - Review: 19 Jan 2006
	SPACE COWBOYS Release: Aug 2000 - Review: 17 Jan 06
MUNICH Release: Dec 05 - Review: 8 Jan 06 WHITE NOISE Release: Jan 05 - Review: 5 Jan 06
	IN GOOD COMPANY Release: Dec 04 - Review: 4 Jan 06 SPANGLISH Release: Dec 04 - Review: 1 Jan 2006
SYRIANA Release: Dec 05 - Review: 31 Dec 05
	JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR Release: Aug 1973 - Review: 28 Dec 05 KING KONG Release: Apr 1933 - Review: 26 Dec 05
KING KONG 2005 Release: Dec 05 - Review: 23 Dec 05 DERAILED Release: Nov 05 - Review: 18 Dec 05
	THE PEACEMAKER Release: Sep 97 - Review: 18 Dec 05 INHERIT THE WIND Release: Nov 1960 - Review: 9 Dec 05 I, ROBOT Release: Jul 04 - Review: 7 Dec 05
WALK THE LINE Release: Sep 05 - Review: 5 Dec 05
	JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR 2000 Release: Mar 01 - Review: 26 Nov 05 ENVY Release: Apr 04 - Review: 26 Nov 05 INTERSECTION Release: Jan 94 - Review: 24 Nov 05 JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO Release: Mar 90 - Review: 23 Nov 05 CATWOMAN Release: Jul 04 - Review: 22 Nov 05 OCEAN'S TWELVE Release: Dec 04 - Review: 22 Nov 05 WRONG TURN Release: May 03 - Review: 21 Nov 05 INTOLERABLE CRUELTY Release: Oct 03 - Review: 20 Nov 05 THE CREEPING TERROR Release: 1964 - Review: 18 Nov
FLIGHTPLAN Release: Sep 05 - Review: 17 Nov 05
	DODGEBALL: A TRUE UNDERDOG STORY Release: Jun 04 - Review: 15 Nov 05 CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN Release: Dec 03 - Review: 7 Nov 05 THE BIG CHILL Release: Sep 1983 - Review: 6 Nov 05
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE Release: Oct 05 - Review: Nov 05
	CONTACT Release: Jul 1997 - Review: 31 Oct 05 CAST AWAY Release: Dec 00 - Review: 20 Oct 05 TROY Release: May 04 - Review: 19 Oct 05 ACE VENTURA PET DETECTIVE Release: Feb 1994 - Review: 19 Oct 05 THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY Release: 1965 - Review: 19 Oct 05 OCEAN'S ELEVEN Release: Dec 01 - Review: 8 Oct 05 THE IMPOSTORS Release: 1998 - Review: 7 Oct 05 HULK Release: Jun 03 - Review: 6 Oct 05 CAPRICORN ONE Release: 1978 - Review: 4 Oct 05 A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE Release: 1951 - Review: 3 Oct 05
SKY HIGH Release: Jul 05 - Review: 2 Oct 05
	GARFIELD Release: Jun 04 - Review: 29 Sep 05 THE TERMINAL Release: Jun 04 - Review: 11 Sep 05 BATMAN AND ROBIN Release: Jun 1997 - Review: 10 Sep 05 APOLLO 13 Release: Jun 1995 - Review: 6 Sep 05 FAHRENHEIT 9/11 Release: Jun 04 - Review: 4 Sep 05 AVP: ALIEN VS. PREDATOR Release: Aug 04 - Review: 2 Sep 05 HIGHLANDER Release: 1986 - Review: 24 Aug 05 HOUSE OF THE DEAD Release: Feb 03 - Review: 23 Aug 05 WEREWOLF Release: 1996 - Review: 22 Aug 05 TENACIOUS D: THE COMPLETE MASTERWORKS Release: Nov 03 - Review: 20 Aug 05 HIGHLANDER III: THE SORCERER Release: Jan 1995 - Review: 19 Aug 05 THE PERFECT SCORE Release: Jan 04 - Review: 14 Aug 05 THE CORE Release: Mar 03 - Review: 14 Aug 05 THE SCHOOL OF ROCK Release: Sep 03 - Review: 12 Aug 05 HELLBOY Release: Mar 04 - Review: 8 Aug 05 THE VALLEY OF GWANGI Release: 1969 - Review: 7 Aug 05 APACHE Release: Jul 1954 - Review: 7 Aug 05
BATMAN BEGINS Release: Jun 05 - Review: 2 Aug 05
	IDENTITY Release: Apr 03- Review: 29 Jul 05 THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS Release: Jun 1953 - Review: 28 Jul 05 DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT Release: Dec 1995 - Review: 22 Jul 05 TIMELINE Release: Nov 03 - Review: 21 Jul 05 SHALLOW HAL Release: Nov 01 - Review: Jul 05 DRAGON: THE BRUCE LEE STORY Release: 1993 - Review: 24 Jun 05 THE STAND Release: May 1994 - Review: 9 Jun 05
STAR WARS III: REVENGE OF THE SITH Release: May 05 - Review: May 05
	CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE Release: Jun 03 - Review: Dec 04 THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING Release: Dec 03 - Review: 18 Dec 04 X2: X-MEN UNITED Release: May 03 - Review: 4 Dec 04 GANGS OF NEW YORK Release: Dec 02 - Review: 2 Dec 04 THE TV WHEEL Release: 1995 - Review: 24 Apr 04 THE CABLE GUY Release: Jun 1996 - Review: 10 Apr 04 KISS: SYMPHONY Release: Apr 03 - Review: 8 Apr 04 THE SUM OF ALL FEARS Release: May 02 - Review: 30 Jan 04 SPACE COWBOYS Release: 2000 - Review: 26 Dec 03 EDDIE AND THE CRUISERS II: EDDIE LIVES! Release: Aug 1989 - Review: Nov 03 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND Release: Feb 01 - Review: Oct 03 THAT THING YOU DO! Release: Oct 1996 - Review: 30 Sep 03 WE WERE SOLDIERS Release: Feb 02 - Review: 2 Sep 03 STAR WARS II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES Release: May 02 - Review: Jul 02 HANNIBAL Release: Feb 01 - Review: Jul 02 SPIDERMAN 2002 Release: May 02 - Review: Jun 02 THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING Release: Dec 01 - Review: Feb 02 THE LAST CASTLE Release: Oct 01 - Review: Nov 01 ME MYSELF AND IRENE Release: Jun 00 - Review: Oct 01 ENTERPRISE Release: Sep 01 - Review: Sep 01 PLANET OF THE APES 2001 Release: Jul 01 - Review: Aug 01

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