Doc
Bruce Poffy
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Shrek
On Steroids.
by
Jon Dunmore © 6 Oct 2005.
Despite
the disconcerting fact that the Hulk does in fact look like a juiced Shrek, this
is not as bad a film as its detractors would have us believe. With the masterful
Ang Lee in the director's chair, the blame for this production's lack of luster
must surely be placed on the shoulders of others more acquainted with mediocrity.
Who better to absorb such barbs than two of the semi-conscious principals, the
phonetic Eric Bana (as Dr. Bruce Banner, the unfortunate scientist bombarded with
gamma rays who morphs into our beloved green muscle-blob) and the sensual-yet-wooden
Jennifer Connelly? Lee
uses inventive filmic devices (such as inserting "comic book" frames
moving about the picture screen, or creating establishing shots by panning outwards
from the smallest subject of the scene, rather than the other way 'round) to craft
a movie which progresses visually almost like reading a comic book. Yet for all
his cinematic inventiveness, there is only so much Lee can do with his human charges,
who mope about the screen like they're unaware that the director has called "Action!"
This is surely one of those movies which does not grasp our interest until the
Feature Creature - the eponymous Hulk - is upon us… …And
we all know what happens when Bruce Banner gets enraged: his body turns green
and his pants turn purple and very, very elastic. Even his socks
cannot withstand the Hulk's growth, snapping into shreds in homeopathic fury;
pan up and sho 'nuff: purple pants tighter than the Beatles trousers. Speaking
of straining threads, Lou Ferrigno (TV's Incredible Hulk) appears in a cameo,
as a security guard in a shirt 5 sizes too small, walking beside none other than
Stan Lee (the Hulk's co-creator), playing a security chief. As
with Spiderman's new filmic incarnation, that which caused the Hulk's condition
has been updated from "radiation" to "genetic engineering gone
awry." In the 50's and 60's the big thunder was "radiation" - practically
everything, when exposed to Big Bad Radiation turned into something which either
wanted to kill people or save people (rats, men, plants, insects - nothing and
no one was spared being exposed to Radiation to drive some puny plot down B-Movie
Lane) - and ever so gradually, movies of our modern era have all come to rely
on another repetitive plot device - Big Bold Genetics - only doing so because,
as with Radiation, First World Science once again believes it has identified one
of the seminal forces of nature. We believe ourselves truly to be scientific colossi
- yet Friends closed out ten seasons on network television recently to
grandiose acclaim. Despite
the derision aimed at the Hulk's CGI image, let's face it, people of earth - this
is as good as it gets in 2003. The creation of this Hulk character is quite incredible!:
a non-real, two-dimensional image that for all intents and purposes, is as
real as it needs to be within its film medium; interacting and completely
three-dimensionally at peace with its surroundings and the human characters it
physically relates to. As "sophisticated" as we all think we are in
this age of Gollum and Yoda Episode 2, I defy anyone to point out major discrepancies
involving shadows, weight distribution, action arcs or moving musculature - this
image interacts with smoke, water, trees, sand, exploding debris - it's quite
astounding to watch if you allow your suspension of disbelief to over-ride the
elitist desire to prove how "smart" you are. In truth, it's more "realistic"
watching the Hulk's movements than any of the wire-fights in Crouching Tiger,
Charlie's Angels, Daredevil or Kill Bill, which are infuriating purely
because the supposed "real-life" characters arc through the air "unrealistically"
- i.e. they change direction, hover, or are simply edited sloppily, where we see
the arc of their flight interrupted by the tug of the wires they so obviously
are wearing. There
is also much pathos in the Hulk's facial features; more than could be summoned
by his girl-toy Jennifer Connelly, whose doe-eyed pining couldn't hold a candle
to the Hulk's Oscar-worthy palette of emotion - and neither could the Hulk's human
counterpart, the puppet-faced Eric Bana. Instead of Nick Nolte (who played Bana's
certifiably insane father more than satisfactorily), I was expecting GEPPETTO
to appear, hoping that his son would become a Real Boy one day and able to move
his facial muscles. Though they are merely ones and zeros, it is disconcerting
to realize that the "cartoon" characters of this generation (the computer
blips, such as Buzz Lightyear, Nemo, Gollum, Sulley & Monsters, Inc., Mr.
Incredible, The Hulk, etc.) display a depth of acting talent that cannot be surpassed
were they to be replaced by human thespians in those same roles. It
is for Ang Lee to weep. It is for George Lucas to rejoice. Saving
the best Bruce Banner one-liner (from The Incredible Hulk TV series) as
the last line of movie dialog was an inspired in-joke - and then for Eric Bana
to say it in Spanish! "You're making me angry - you wouldn't like me when
I'm angry."
Yes,
but first let's learn how to play angry, shall we Eric?...
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