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GALAXY
QUEST (Dec 1999)
Director: Dean Parisot.
Writers: David Howard, Robert Gordon.
Starring: Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony
Shalhoub, Sam Rockwell, Daryl Mitchell, Enrico Colantoni,
Robin Sachs, Patrick Breen, Missi Pyle, Jed Rees, Justin Long.
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Action
Man Poffy
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No
Dreck on This Trek.
by
Jon Dunmore © 30 May 2006.
In
its swinging skewering of that tv series which featured that
Vulcan guy, Galaxy Quest is everything that the Scary
Movie franchise is not: well-produced, well-written, well-acted
- and funny.
Jason
Nesmith (Tim Allen) is the ex-captain of a television starship
not unlike that one that boldly goes where no man has gone
before, from a show which was cancelled 20 years ago, Galaxy
Quest. He and his crew, typecast for eternity as the
crew of "The NSEA Protector," fill their weary,
laurel-resting days appearing at science fiction conventions,
mall openings and autograph signings.
In
what must be closer to the scathing truth than any real
life series typecastee would care to admit, Nesmith's crew
moan en masse at their fate, which is double-edged:
forced to dork themselves and recite lines from 20 years
ago, but able to pay the rent for it. Living long. But not
prospering. All except for Nesmith, who enlivens his role
as action captain just a little too over-dramatically, not
unlike that enterprising captain from that 60's show.
There
is ex-Shakespearean, Alexander Dane (Alan Rickman; though
the loudest wheel in disparaging the Galaxy Quest legacy, never thinks to remove the ludicrous latex headgear
that buries him in the role of his alien character - the
obvious Science Officer to Nesmith's Cheesy Captain); Sigourney
Weaver, a world away from Ripley, giving a Breasts-First
performance as Gwen DeMarco (whose sole spacefaring job
is repeating the captain's orders to the computer and repeating
the computers replies back to the captain), and the underrated
Tony Shalhoub as Fred Kwan (parodying that Scottish engineer
fella, but on 'ludes); and we all know Sam Rockwell's character
- the crewman who is sent down to the planet with the major
stars - only to NOT make it back to the ship alive (you
know - for that touch of "realism"), appropriately
named Guy - as in "Guy #6."
As
Dane might have elocuted 20 years ago, "There are more
things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of
in your philosophy."
Shocking
them out of their stupor, the Galaxy Quest crew is abducted
by an actual alien civilization, the benign Thermians -
who over the years picked up transmissions of the series
broadcasts, believing them to be "historical documents"
rather than fiction - and seek their aid in defeating a
real intergalactic villain named Sarris (Robin Sachs, in
a fantastically diabolical performance).
These "real" space sequences are where Galaxy
Quest pulls its biggest surprise. No quarter is spared
in creating stunning space effects and authentic-looking
alien monster villains (courtesy of legendary Stan Winston).
For the satire to run on steel-biting wheels, it was necessary
to make this "real-life" intergalactic fracas
as realistic as possible - otherwise director Dean Parisot
would have had just another B-Movie on his hands with the
cheapness and artificiality exhibited by the actual series
he was spoofing!
The
Protector crew must assimilate into their television personalities
to weather the real intergalactic battle, as the Thermians,
led by Mathesar (Enrico Colantoni, fleshing out his extraterrestrial
role with decidedly alien flair), have based their culture
on the Galaxy Quest canon - from its technical details
(the NSEA Protector in operational full scale) to its slogans:
"Never give up. Never surrender!"
This
movie is to the 60's series as Spinal Tap was to metal:
Dane disdainfully notes Jason's Shirtless penchant; a hallway
for no reason has chompy, crushy things just to serve as
obstacles; engineer Kwan's method for assessing the breathability
of an alien planet's atmosphere is to open the hatch and
take a sniff; all the while, Guy wailing whenever unnecessary
risks are taken, as he - being credited only as "Crewman
Number 6" - will definitely be the first to die.
The
hero-worshipping of the Protector crew by the Thermians
lends itself to unexpected poignancy, when Dane, who holds
his most famous phrase in contempt ("By Grabthar's
hammer, you will be avenged!"), unwittingly finds an
opportunity to utter it, in grave sincerity, to someone
for whom it carries worlds of weight - a dying Thermian
who regarded Dane as his otherworldly father.
Galaxy
Quest affectionately gives the fanboys their due as
rocket scientists trapped in dweeb bodies, as ubergeek Brandon
(the stammering Justin Long), with fan-researched tech specs,
aids in saving the Protector and bringing it Earthward.
But
when Sarris appears at the film's finale, it is up to Jason
Nesmith to save the day with a cheese-alicious duck-and-roll
and phaser powerblast worthy of… that guy in the yellow
jersey (occasionally Shirtless and body-oiled) who made
an art form of melodramatic
pausing between lines - you know who I mean… by Grabthar's
hammer, the name's on the tip of my tongue…
END |
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GALAXY
QUEST (Dec 1999)
Director: Dean Parisot.
Writers: David Howard, Robert Gordon.
Starring: Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony
Shalhoub, Sam Rockwell, Daryl Mitchell, Enrico Colantoni,
Robin Sachs, Patrick Breen, Missi Pyle, Jed Rees, Justin Long.
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