Elven
Hell.
©
Jon Dunmore, 14 Jun 2006.
Will Ferrell is funny. This movie is not.
In
Elf, Ferrell is Buddy, a normal-sized human raised
by Santa's elves (hence, thinks himself an elf), who is
sent out into the world ostensibly to find his real daddy,
but in reality to get his clumsy, over-sized bollocks out
of the tiny toy factory.
In
Christmastime New York, still wearing his elf getup, he
discovers his father is Sonny Corleone, which must make
him Andy Garcia.
Rounding
out the cast are bland Zooey Deschanel, inattentive Faizon
Love, untalented Andy Richter, drunk Artie Lange, gruff
Edward Asner, and cameos by Amy Sedaris, Kyle Gass and director
Jon Favreau.
Jon Favreau - the man behind the quirkaholic Swingers
and Made and the down-to-earth talk show Dinner
For Five; who pulled those great realistic scenes on
The Sopranos as himself; who has touched Famke Janssen's
X-spots. Jon Favreau - wha? - I loved you, man!...
Another
of those Santa-Is-Real films, with the paradox of insufferably
obtuse parents not believing in him even though toys must
mysteriously appear under the tree every year.
Gags
that "pop" in a 30-second trailer fall absolutely
flat in the context of the film, and of course, The Message
of "everyone needs to believe in a Fantasy to quell
their inherent loathsome selfishness" is delivered
with the subtlety of Rosie O'Donnell cannonballing nude
into a public swimming pool.
Sonny Corleone must whack Santa, and Buddy must whack Joey
Zaza as revenge for wiping out the New York dons and everyone
lives happily ever after.
That's
not how it ends. That's just my Christmas wish.
END
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